Albert Cohol

Lord Al

Al Cohol is God. He is a role model for all those who wish to embody the spirit of lazy perseverance. He can be found raiding local package stores, passed out under the beerwalk, or transcending time and space through intoxication. 

Funkmaster Chefbro


Chefbro is a professor at LPU. His curriculum includes Beer Economics, Couch Sciences, and Lazy Philosophy. He is also a general contractor for GFY Contracting Services - the job is done when the beers are gone. GFY!

Doc 'Merica 88

8 Bowls, 8 Beers

Doc is a medical expert in Laziology. He has cured more patients than Dr. Oz, Dr. Phil, and Dr. Kevorkian combined. How does he do it? One bulletproof prescription - drink 8 beers as needed!  

M.G. Beersworth


MGB is a beer lawyer. With his team of underpaid paralegals, he resolves any and all beer shortages at his leisure. Whether you need a 6-pack, 12-pack, 18-pack, 30-pack, there is no case too small for MGB!

Archbishop Johnny Banquet

Blessed & Highly Favored (BAHF)

The Archbishop blesses all things Lazy. When life gets hard, ABJB is there to save you. When Sho Bah is tempting you with labor, ABJB will give you the strength to say, "nothin' new after two!" Find salvation through filtration! You are blessed! We are all blessed! Al Be Praised!